Visions of Sugar Plums (All (1) in this section)

Playing music with machines

Does humor belong in music? Do machines?

A Change Is Gonna Come (All (1) in this section)

I'm Trying To Bend My Thought Stream In A New Direction

Because Life Is What You Make It, and other Eighties Song Lyrics.

Drinking and Typing (All (6) in this section)

There's a sadness on the edge of town

Hello one and all, are you the ones I used to know? Can you hear me call, On this old Ham Radio?

Welcome to Farmerica

Pre-tool using, stone age, bronze age, iron age, machine age, industrial age, information age... old age. A coon's age.

It's like trolling, but it's all hook and no bait

Because I'm unable to determine if I'm a monk who dreamed I was a butterfly, or just really gay.

Yes, I know I babble and rant

I once wrote the Seinfeld Yadda as yatta because that is how I heard it, and I didn't know that there was a spell-check dictionary available for gibberish.

Yes, I truly am a moron, but, like that bothers you.

You are riley stupp-ed. How much dumber could you be? Wait... What? Oh.... U tend'd Murkan Publick Skooolz since yu wuz tweb. Golly, Sarge. Never Mind.

Complaints are like finding a picture of water while you're dying of thirst in the desert.

Not drinking or typing enough, apparently....

Blab Blab Blab (All (7) in this section)

Lumpy, Twisted and Stringy

The new elementary quantum forces

The New Improved Universe

Now with more dimensions!

Waiting

Is that a draft? Maybe I should stop using Windows...

Poe Tree

there once was a poem something yes, I meant to say "... one either side" -- think about it a second

What the?

I was sure I had something important to say when I started to type this...

Meaning, what exactly?

Cassandra and Sisyphus, fraternal tragic twins.

An endless river

Reverberations, insane in the m-branes.

Letters I Sent, Some I Shouldn't Have, and Some I Should Have (All (3) in this section)

Letter to Paul Krugman

In case the Internet randomizes the electrons on the way to the nytimes.com website. And what the heck.

No, really, it would be nice to be mistaken

More On, Apply Directly to the Forehead. More On, Apply Directly to the Forehead. More On, Apply Directly to the Forehead. More On, Apply Directly to the Forehead. More On, Apply Directly to the Forehead. More On, Apply Directly to the Forehead. More On, Apply Directly to the Forehead.

Oregon Marine Board

We Spel rill gud

Election 2008 (All (7) in this section)

Yo, Dennis!

What the heck, every author needs a pen name. Ironically, mine is "Samuel Clemens."

Could the Democrats actually back a freaking Democrat for a freaking change?

Supporting Hillary? Think you're a Democrat? Good God you are a dumb ass. Did I mention you have not got a f***ing clue about reality? This really sucks. You are so stupid.

More babbling about Nader

This may blow the ending, but Nader hasn't changed...

I really do want to be wrong

Is Hillary really "Republican Light" or is she just "Republican"?

I wanna be like Mike

We, 'The People' say, "Thank you."

Hey, Earl!

More emails sent and should have sent to Earl Blumenauer. At least the bow tie works for him. Hey Earl, how about this Gravel guy?

Draft Cold Beer 2008

George Washington brought the hemp, and I the evening papers, which smoked us all like Boston Scrod.

Flash Fiction (All (1) in this section)

99 and 44/100ths percent pure

Life is what happens while you're making other plans.

Cooking (All (3) in this section)

Ginger Jalapeno Cranberry Sauce

A sweet and spicy -- and isn't that really the way we all want it? -- recipe

Lemon Dijon Chicken

Now we make dee scwirly stoo, here scwirly scwirly...

Mandarin Orange Ginger Jalapeno Marinade

Delicious on pork or chicken, this marinade is sure to be a hit.